Pepper Steak

Oh yes, the mother of all bad poems…….

Pepper Steak (Said 7 times)

I looked out my basement window and saw 25 dead swans lying face down in a kiddie pool of bile and vomit. Tears began to spark my eye when one thought crept into my subconcious. When is dinnertime?

Pepper Steak (Said 12 times)

So I’m walking into a Wal-Mart when a retarded girl tried to hand me a flier. How offensive. So I took it, and tore it up in front of her, cursing and spitting as I did it. And, oh, poor thing, she started to cry. So I kicked her in the mouth and said, clean that shit up bitch!

Pepper Steak (said 6 times)

Ahhhhhhhh…..Straight outta Fuji

Crazy little monkeys with rabies
Break into your house, steal your cash
and eat your babies.
Look out for the ones with red and blue bandanas
Don’t try to lure them out your house with bananas
I say they got, you say claws
hey got (claws)
they got (claws)
they got (claws)
and they know karate.
They throw poo, and they don’t hesitate to steal your food
Sharp teeth, red asses, and an attitude.
I say monkey, you say ahhh
monkey (ahhh)
monkey (ahhh)
monkey (ahhh)
and they’re masters of Kung Fu!

Pepper Steak (said 7 times)

(Sung) I…Saw…A…Cameltoe.
It’s a cameltoe day.
(Improvise singing cameltoe)
Is it on the foot of a camel
or on a 15 year old girl?
(More improvise singing cameltoe)

Pepper Steak (said 13 times)

(Clap hands)
(Rah rah singing) Lions, Lions, team of the year
5 and 11, you’ve got alot to fear
(Sung in falsetto) You will fear the Lions
they are so ferocious
they fight ninjas and pirates
with their claws
with their fangs
with the mighty hammer of Thor

Pepper Steak (said 9 times)

(Deeply into microphone) As you are reading this,
I will be dead as a railroad spike has likely gone through my head.
If I know myself, it was a mistake,
so recall my final words of anger and truth….
(Whisper) Pepper Steak


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