Big Fat Cat

ok, I want to post some poetry, so here is the big fat cat poem…

Big Fat Cat

I got a big fat cat
I got a big fat cat at home
I got a 20 pound cat
I got a 20 pound cat at home

He could fly to the moon
He could conquer this world we call home
But instead he just sits there
And shits outside of his litterbox
I got a big fat cat
I got a big fat cat at home
I got a 20 pound cat
I got a 20 pound cat at home

People ask me,
Little man, why do you have a big fat cat at home
And I would always reply, because,
In this heat if I kept him in my car I would be arrested
By the United States of Hypocracy.
And they retort, no, heroic icon of mine
Why do you have a big fat cat at all?
And I say, well, I plan on fattening him up and then making an omelet
With him as the main ingredient.
Int int int Interesting.
I got a big fat cat
I got a big fat cat at home
I got a 20 pound cat
I got a 20 pound cat at home

I feed him 17 times a day
I feed him 17 times a day
I don’t feed my drug habit 17 times a day
I don’t feed my drinking habit 17 times a day
I don’t feed my sex habit 17 times…..ever.
Damn
And my drug habit never woke me up at 6:30 AM
By licking my face with a toilet water tongue for the sole purpose
Of being gratified.
I got a big fat cat
I got a big fat cat at home
I got a 20 pound cat
I got a 20 pound cat at home

But at the end of the hellish roller coaster that I call, the day
He crawls up beside me as I attempt to visit slumberland.
And he looks at me with his big, beautiful green eyes.
He leans over as if to say, Hey Buddy
You’ve done enough today, go ahead and sleep,
I’ll watch over you.
So I stroke his head gently and thank him for all the love.
At least I would have, but he cut me off by tearing away a
Chunk of my face with his big fucking claws.

I hate that big fat cat of mine

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